Why Can’t You Come?

Anorgasmia. What is it?

desert-landscapeSex and orgasm should be pleasurable, joyful, fun, relaxing, blissful and more. So why is it that some women simply cannot achieve orgasm?

Anorgasmia is a form of sexual dysfunction sometimes classified as a psychiatric disorder in which a woman cannot achieve orgasm, even with “adequate” stimulation. If there is nothing physically wrong, then the cause must be emotional, which is what my work and this blog focuses on.

Pre-orgasmia, and anorgasmia in women is common. Studies suggest as many as 43% of women never or rarely achieve orgasm.

Here are some definitions.

Preorgasmia  which also called Primary Anorgasmia

This is a condition where someone has NEVER experienced an orgasm. This is significantly more common in women, although it can occur in men too.

Secondary anorgasmia

This is a condition where you have difficulty achieving orgasm. You have in the past but can’t any more. This can happen if you feel you have been violated in some way or had an emotionally traumatic event. This event need not be sexual in nature. Any emotional trauma can trigger this problem, as I will explain in upcoming posts.

Some women can achieve orgasm but only rarely, with some having as few as one or two orgasms in a year.

Why orgasms are important

humpback-whaleAn orgasm is felt as a series of uterine muscle contractions that last several seconds, releasing oxytocin in the process. Oxytocin regulates stress hormone levels stress and the menstrual cycle.

Not only are anorgasmic women denied intense sexual pleasure and satisfaction, but also a deficiency of oxytocin (the hormone generously released during orgasm) leads to

  • stress
  • obesity
  • psychotic behaviour
  • impairs cognitive functions
  • increases breast-cancer risk

So it’s worth thinking about getting this problem solved.

You are Hardwired for Pleasure

hippy-girlOur bodies were designed for pleasure. The clitoris, g-spot and penis are full of nerve endings that are hardwired to pleasure centres in the brain. So why is it that for some people, even with all the right conditions  orgasm doen’t occur?

The Orgasm is a reflex reaction, out of our conscious control. It is the unconscious mind that controls it, which means, rather like sneezing, you can’t cognitively decide to have an orgasm. You can only create the right conditions and let the unconscious mind do the rest.

Coming Soon

In this series of blogs I’ll be covering the various causes for anaorgasmia and what can be done about it.

If you cannot or have not achieved orgasm IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.  It can be solved and you will be able to enjoy sex, relationships, and your body freely.

Until next time


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