Archive for the ‘Sexual Taboo’ Category

Unlocking the Mystery of the Female Orgasm

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

Unlocking the Mystery of the Female Orgasm

9 Ways to Help Her Achieve Orgasm.

An estimated 50% of women rarely or never achieve orgasm. If your partner is one of these here are some simple and easy ways to unlock the mystery of the female orgasm.

1.  Take the Pressure off Her. Do NOT ask “Did you come?”

If her orgasm becomes the “end goal” or sole purpose for having sex this will put ENORMOUS pressure on her. Pressure to achieve orgasm or to “perform” will STOP her relaxing enough to have an orgasm.

Many men think that they are failing in some way, or less of a man if their partner does not come. If your ego or feelings are linked to your girlfriend’s orgasm it will only put more pressure on her. If she loves you (and I’m assuming she does) she will want you to feel good and to please you. Don’t make her feel like she is failing you if she can’t come. That would only put more pressure on her. Some women even fake it to take the pressure off and to please their partners. Instead make pleasure, fun and intimacy the purpose of making love.

2.  Take the Pressure off Yourself

If your partner cannot achieve orgasm don’t take it personally. There are many reasons why women can’t orgasm and it is most likely nothing to do with the size of your penis, how long you can last or your sexual prowess. Although technique is important, this is something that you can easily learn.  Most importantly don’t let her lack of orgasm stop you enjoying making love together.

3.  You Can’t Give Her an Orgasm Only She Can Take One

Many men will proudly boast about the great orgasms the “give” their partner. But the truth is that no one can GIVE anyone an orgasm. All you can do is create the right conditions. Like gardening, you dig the earth, prepare the soil, water the seeds, but in the end it’s the plant that does the growing. In the same way, make her feel safe, comfortable, relaxed, give her permission to enjoy her body (and yours) and then just wait and see.

4.  Give Her Space and Permission to Learn Her Own Body

If your girlfriend has never achieved orgasm before then she will need the space, privacy and support to practice on her own. She needs to learn how her own body works, feels and responds and she will be much more comfortable doing this on her own. Encourage her to practice, self pleasure and masturbation. Give her space to do this. Go out, and if you have kids take them out too.  Let her know that this is HER time.  Encourage her to have a “date” with herself. When she finally does achieve orgasm – she will feel so proud of herself and happy. Make sure you celebrate it too. Don’t allow your feelings of wishing you had been the one to give her the orgasm get in the way of HER pleasure.

Once she can achieve orgasm easily on her own, it’s then time for her to show you how it’s done. And then the fun really starts.

5.  Foreplay, Moreplay, and Get Clirtorate

Learn the language of her body. Learn about her sexual response. The male and female sexual responses are VERY different so learn those differences. These are covered in our online course Ecstatic Living, but here are two important ones.

a) Timing

Touch, stroke, kiss and caress other body parts for at least 15 minutes before you even attempt to touch her genitals. Particularly for a woman it takes at least 15 minutes for the sex hormones to be distributed around her body in sufficient quantities for her to feel aroused. If you rush it not only will she not be ready, she will likely feel invaded. Wait to be invited.

b) The clitoris, it’s a sensitive subject

The clitoris has TWICE as many nerve endings as the penis and over a smaller area. When you think you are using about the right amount of pressure, use even LESS. Feather soft strokes with the fingertips are perfect. If she wants you to press harder she will let you know.

6.  Get Intimate

Yes women love orgasms, but intimacy can be just as important. Many women can achieve orgasm alone (and you’ll have to ask her about this) but not when you are present. The reasons for this are usually around her self confidence and the level of intimacy she is comfortable with. Make her feel really comfortable in your presence. The way to do this is to be really comfortable in your own presence, and have great presence.

7.  Masculine Energy

Many pre-orgasmic women have an excess of male energy. This makes her overly rational and logical. She can get stuck in her head and thoughts rather than her intuition and in her body. This can cause her to shut off from her sexuality.  For her to achieve orgasm she will need to raise her feminine energy, and although you can’t do that for her, you can make it feel safer for her to move into that feminine essence. Raising your own masculine energy will help her do this. Develop your inner strength and learn more about raising masculine energy.

A woman likes to feel comfortable and safe with her man. The best way you can do this is for YOU to be comfortable in and with yourself.

8.  Soul Connection

The secret to great sex has nothing to do with the physical body. It is actually all about the emotional and spiritual connection between two people. At orgasm the ego (lower self) is surrendered. When you know how to exchange your sexual and orgasmic energy you will truly be making love and connecting at a spiritual level. The experience of this goes way beyond any physical pleasure and is exquisite bliss.

Sex is the barometer of how healthy a relationship is and it is the glue that binds it together.

9.  Sex Magic

Sex magic is said to be a highway to higher consciousness. When a couple have great sex at a soul level it not only strengthens the relationship it strengthens the individuals.

Really successful people have a very strong relationship and a good sex life is an essential part of that. Learning about sexual energy not only improves your sex life and your relationship it transforms all areas of your life too.

To Your Bliss

By Dr. Lisa Turner

For a free audio on how sexual energy and sex magic, including more info on the full body orgasm, click here.

Sorry I’m late, I was having a wank

Friday, April 17th, 2009

Sexual Taboos 2: Masturbation

“Sorry I’m late, I was having a wank”

Let’s face it – that’s not something you’re ever likely to hear. Although masturbation is more acceptable now, it still holds a stigma and shame. Although people might openly say in a general sense that they masturbate, there are very few people who are ever specific.

EcstacyFor example – there you are having a wank and the phone rings. Do you answer it? If you answer it do you admit that you’re out of breath because “I was just having a wank” I’m guessing NOT for most people. More likely they would make up something about running for the phone, putting up shelves or some little fib or other.

If you don’t answer the phone and then call back when you’ve errr… finished, do you say why you didn’t answer – “Sorry mate, couldn’t come to the phone till I’d come”

Again this seems pretty unlikely – at least no-one’s ever said it – not even to me and I’m the Orgasm Coach. Though if they did I’d be saying “Excellent work – Commendable”

So why is masturbation still shameful? Of all sexual taboos it seems pretty harmless so what’s the big deal?

Why is masturbation still shameful?

First let’s look to religion.

Many religions discourage masturbation. The bible warns against not “casting your seed on barren ground” I’ve found no specific reference to female masturbation in the bible.

Some religions believe that a man should not waste his sperm. By which they mean a man should only ejaculate for the purposes of procreation. These religions also believe their priests (only men) should never marry or have sex, or masturbate. Even the strictest Tantra disciplines say that orgasm should not be suppressed.

There are lots of things you can do with an orgasm but suppression is not considered healthy for many reasons.

Those religions that discourage orgasms in their priests in any way, suppressing orgasm, seem to have more reports of child sex abuse and other more serious taboos. I don’t know if there is a connection between a man suppressing orgasm and him abusing children. Maybe those who abuse don’t suppress their orgasm and DO  masturbate. I don’t have any evidence other than speculation.

Let’s look at it from the perspective of energy and power.

All magic is sex magic. In many esoteric practices the raising of sexual energy through masturbation (for both men and women) is common place and fundamental to increasing power. The practice usually involves arousing sexual energy then transmuting it at the point of orgasm. This will increase a person’s health and vitality and also their power.
Ejaculation without transmuting the energy will be cause a man to lose his energy. Women also lose energy though not anywhere nearly as much as men do. Men and women who transmute their sexual energy will raise their energy – there are many other benefits but more of that later.

Now I’m not really into conspiracy theories but making masturbation at taboo would prevent the majority of people from accessing their own personal powerhouse.

So it seems possible that masturbation was made taboo to keep people’s sexual energy trapped in the body and only available in its most potent form for the few elite who were (are) in the know.

It’s also possible that it was for protection. To transmute sexual energy without first clearing oneself emotionally can trigger problems for a person. Someone who had lots of suppressed fear, for example who raised to full orgasmic energy would certainly become aware of their fears and it’s entirely possible that they might even think they were going mad. For such a person releasing their energy in a “wasted ejaculation” would be much safer.

Whatever the reason for masturbation being taboo, it’s still not socially acceptable to say – sorry I couldn’t answer the phone I was having a wank. One day it will be ok to say “I was raising and transmuting energy”

Until next time.

Sexual Taboos 1 – Promiscuity

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Sexual energy is the most potent and powerful on the planet. All magic is sex magic. Sexual energy is the energy it takes to create a whole new person. Despite sex supposedly being all about love and creation, there still are and always have been taboos around sex.

Is it possible that every taboo is actually a way of protecting and preserving our sexual energy?

j0433270So what is a taboo? Why were they created? Was it an early of propaganda, a way of controlling people? Were they for our safety? Or were they to keep us enslaved?
Many esoteric teachings warn of the dangers of abusing or wasting sexual energy. For example it would be possible to raise your sexual energy and use it to exert control over others. It is also possible for others to “steal” your energy.

Let’s take a look at some of the taboos that have and still do exist around sex starting with…

Sex with many partners – promiscuity.

Promiscuity has become less taboo and but is still not really considered to be socially responsible. STDs are usually cited as the reason for avoiding promiscuous behaviour, but multiple partners certainly affect sexual energy.

It is possible to “use” others by draining their energy. A promiscuous person could, in theory, use tantric principles to absorb the energy of each partner they have sex with, thus building their energy but draining others. a sort of sexual vampire if you like.

It is also possible, if you don’t know energy techniques for the promiscuous person to lose energy to each partner. This could create a vicious cycle where the individuals psyche craves energy which drives them to have sex, but due to ignorance they lose rather than gain energy thus creating the urge for them to have sex again.

So promiscuity could increase your energy, albeit unethically, if you know esoteric, or deplete your energy if you don’t. Either way it seems that this  taboo have had the positive intention of protection.

More on other taboos soon. All the best