Archive for March, 2012

What Is Love Anyway?

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

Imagine what it would be like to feel love and loved all the time?
Can you recall what it felt like the last time you knew 100% with every cell of your being that you were loved? I hope so, and I hope it was recent, and that it happens again soon, if not right now.

Sadly for too many people they don’t really feel love or loved. They feel alone, sad or hurt by past experiences. And at Valentine’s Day when we are bombarded with the suggestion that we should be in a “happy couple” and that there’s something wrong if you’re not it’s especially challenging.

Well in this article I’d like to share with you ways that you can create more love, the purest, most blissful source of love. And you’ll discover why love hurts and how to stop it hurting.

Let’s start by explaining what love is

Some people try to define it by how it feels, others by the kinds of relationships that we can feel love in. For example romantic love, platonic, parental love, the love we feel for our children. And they define each type of relationship as having different kinds of love.

But what if the relationship had nothing to do with what love really is?

Wouldn’t it be amazing if the love you feel is completely separate from anything going on outside of you, who you were with, or what you were doing?

In a moment I’m going to show you how this could be.

So let’s imagine that love is nothing more than a form of energy. Like electricity

And just as electricity flows through wires and cables, love travels through channels in your body. I’m going to call these channels your neurology. What’s your neurology? It’s basically your nervous system that carries information around your entire body. It goes way beyond the brain too by the way.

So love is a kind of energy. What kind of energy? I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that it’s as close to pure source energy as you can get in the body.

So when you feel love, what you are feeling is the unfettered rush and flow of pure source energy within your body. And it feels GREAT! Indeed this might be the reason we have bodies – so we can feel love flowing through them.

Romantic love – would simply be the experience of source energy moving in the body as triggered by the connection to another person, who also has source energy in their body.

Platonic love – would be the feeling of source energy moving triggered by a friend.

So why does love hurt?

Well the hurt you feel is actually the resistance to love.

Just like an electrical circuit, components in the circuit can have a purpose. It makes a light bulb glow, or a motor run. This is how love motivates us to make changes in our lives and the world. And it is the single most powerful motivating force in the universe.

However when something is introduced to the circuit that resists the flow of love and creates no useful purpose we feel that as emotional pain. Just as certain elements in an electrical circuit can block the flow of electricity in such a way that it simply heats up, catches fire or blows a fuse.

When love is blocked, this is what happens in our bodies, and we feel it as emotional pain.

What blocks the flow is tension in the body. This tension is caused by the difference between what we want (inside of ourselves, and what we experience in the physical reality.

I’ll cover that in more detail in our next issue so make sure you look out for that.

For now – to increase love remember that regardless of what is happening outside of you in terms of your relationships, those circumstances don’t need to affect how much love flows within you.

And remember that all pain is simply the resistance to love. Resist less, love more.

I love you

Lisa

The O Coach Approach

Thursday, March 1st, 2012

I often get asked “how is your approach different to traditional sex therapies?”
So to show how my approach is different, let’s start with how other therapies approach sexual issues.
The medical profession tend to approach it from a purely physiological stand point. Most of the clients who come to me after approaching their doctor or GP tell me that they are hugely embarrassed and unable to offer any real advice or support to pre-orgasmic women.
Then there are the traditional “sex therapists” who approach it predominantly from the perspective of the physical body. They focus on different positions and techniques. They give some mention of the emotional aspect but little in the way of any real effective way of resolving emotional problems relating to sex.
Other sex therapists give more attention to the psychological aspects of sexuality, and this is often from a “what’s going on in the brain” perspective. So it’s really about the neurological processes.
My approach is really quite different. It focuses on the following:
1. Really getting to the heart of emotional issues around sex and sexuality. Whereas many therapists will mention the shame and guilt so often associated with sex they don’t really have an effective way of releasing it.
2. I use a highly effective therapeutic technique that releases emotions. It’s not just talking about them or going into the past. It actually releases them. In fact, there is lots of evidence that simply talking about the past and reliving it actually makes it worse. So instead I focus on releasing the emotion, then understanding the problem. It’s easier to understand it once the emotion has been released.
3. I work with a lot of women who have been in sexually abusive relationships, or just abusive and assist them to resolve and remove the blocks that prevent them from experiencing pleasure and achieving orgasm.
4. I introduce the ideas behind sexual energy. This has its roots both in Tantra and Western Mystery Tradition. It has some powerful concepts such as:
• Arousal is a result of energy, not physical sensation alone, or even at all!
• Orgasm is a result of holding a high level of sexual energy.
• It explores ideas such as resistance being a powerful container for energy, and that when released we can access more energy.
• The polarities of masculine and feminine energy.
• Power and control in relationships.
• Being conscious.
• Sex and orgasm as a spiritual experience. At orgasm the ego leaves the body so that a union with the soul is possible.

If this sounds like an approach you would like to explore and would like to discuss it further, then apply for a free introductory consultation to discuss your personal situation.
Ask The O Coach your question here.