Being in your head. Needing to be in control. Can’t let go.
We live in a very “left brain” rational society. Emotions, intuition and feelings are disapproved of, not only in the work place, but in all areas of life. Life has become about control. Controlling ourselves, every thought, every process, and every action become entirely planned and controlled by our logical mind. Some people try to plan and pilot every aspect of their lives.
But orgasm is NOT under our conscious control. Like sneezes they are controlled by the irrational, unconscious, emotional, intuitive, holistic part of our brains. People who only use logical control find it hard to or even impossible to let go.
Other symptoms that someone is overly controlling are:
- Inability to have fun.
- Don’t let their hair down.
- Being critical of both themselves and others.
- Being highly organised and unable handle changes of plan easily.
- They might come across as being demanding, extremely particular or fussy.
- They have muscle tension, stiff joints, headaches or migraine
- Nightmares, insomnia or other sleep disturbances.
- Often feel tired even when you know you shouldn’t
- They believe there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything.
- They are often quite pessimistic, or even despondent.
The healing process for these clients focuses on them learning how to relax, and let go and how to surrender to a little chaos.
One of the key factors is to communicate with your unconscious mind. Tap into your intuition if you like. You need to learn to trust their unconscious mind and slowly but surely release the tight hold on control.
Control is an illusion anyway. We can actually control very little. The unconscious mind, although it might seem irrational this is usually because it has much greater processing power so has information that the conscious mind does not. If it is left alone and allowed to do its job, all areas of life can improve.
The solution for this starts with the woman first accepting the need to relax control. Unfortunately they find this very difficult as it might not feel safe for them. Also they are often completely unaware that they are very controlled or even that this is part of the problem.
The clues are often apparent as soon as they contact me, but the number of restrictions they place around and the way of them getting onto a workshop. They will say things like “it has to be in May” or “I can’t do Tuesdays”. They will need to know a lot of specifics about the content and ask for details of my credentials.
Sadly for most of these women they put so many restrictions that they rarely take action to move forward. It is as if they have locked themselves into a cage or are so tightly wrapped up in their “shoulds” and “have tos” that they never even give themselves the freedom to come to see me.
Fortunately those that do come to see me experience fantastic transformations and find that by letting go they actually gain more influence over their lives. And of course, they end up being able to achieve orgasm and harness their energy which also increases their persona power, and effectiveness. Control without power is impotent.
The problem is one of energy and it is too much masculine energy and not enough feminine energy.
Feminine energy is raw power, but it is a little chaotic.
Masculine energy is control, but is can be restrictive
We need both.
Control without power is impotent
Power without control is destructive.
The healing includes things to get them to relax, let go and enjoy a little chaos. Energy work to raise the feminine energy as well as meditation, hypnosis and relaxation techniques. Bodywork to get them out of their head and into their body is also important. Yoga and Chi Gong movement is excellent for this.
If you would like to know how to increase your personal power and influence or you cannot achieve orgasm then contact me 0845 468 1508 lisa@the-o-coach.com
Until next time
Lisa
Emotional trauma from past events can cause people to numb themselves from all feelings, both emotional and physical. This is a form of severe dissociation. Where a person becomes completely disconnected from their body and emotional feelings.
We live in a pleasure starved culture. No pain, no gain is the modern mantra.
Pleasure please.
Before you read this blog post, please note that I have referred to the man as the abuser, not because men are always the abuser and women the abused, but only because this is more common.
The woman is completely isolated from all societal support. Friends and family are no longer available. Friendships are made difficult or forbidden. There is often social undermining, where he will tease her in public.
n orgasm is just for relief right? Sexual tension increases until you feel compelled to do something about it, and then you masturbate or have sex to achieve an orgasmic relief. But are there other things you can do with your orgasm and sexual energy?
I recommend this to all my clients. Next time you make love or masturbate, when you reach that moment just when you think you are going to come. HANDS OFF. To a few very deep breaths, and then continue. On my workshops I teach a technique to move the energy up your body so that it begins to turn into a full body orgasm. But even simply delaying your orgasm will eventually have you gagging for it so that when you eventually do come it will be excruciatingly pleasurable.
This is an advanced technique that I teach my clients once they have mastered the basics. As you begin your orgasm you start to move the sensation up your body. You spin and cycle the bliss and energy and orgasmic pleasure pulses up your body.
Sex and orgasm should be pleasurable, joyful, fun, relaxing, blissful and more. So why is it that some women simply cannot achieve orgasm?
An orgasm is felt as a series of uterine muscle contractions that last several seconds, releasing oxytocin in the process. Oxytocin regulates stress hormone levels stress and the menstrual cycle.
There seems to be no doubt that sex sells. Advertisers and marketers use sex everywhere possible and acceptable to sell.
It’s undisputable that sex is a powerful driving force. It will drive men and women to take huge risks of credibility or reputation. There must be something more to this than a simple orgasm? So what is this powerful force and how can you turn it from something destructive to something creative?
Tantrikas (initiates of tantra) are usually highly restrained in their sexual practises as they believe promiscuity would lead to a loss of sexual energy and thus there would be less to transmute. So tantra seems to offer the ultimate in safe sex.